Thursday, May 28, 2009

You know those "this makes sure you're not a computer" things?

Where you have to get really close the computer screen to decipher what letters/numbers are in a graphic so you can type them in so you can comment on your friend's blog?

Sometimes, I wish those words were real words.

Take "bortne." I think bortne would mean something like, "dissatisfied acquiescence." For example, "Tanya reacted to her boyfriend, Malloy's, desire to see 'Terminator' with a certain degree of bortne."

Monday, May 18, 2009

Fawns are cuddly slutbags

Playing hard to get... unconvincingly!

Clearly about to make out...

Caught in the act!!


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

So. Many. Wonderful. Things.

About. This. Family. Portrait.

Fortune cookie fortunes I kept whilst a paralegal

The following are fortune cookie fortunes I refused to throw away whilst a paralegal:

- Idleness is the holiday of fools.
- You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
- Good beginning is half done.
- You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
- Serious trouble will bypass you.
- Treasure your good memories and you need not worry about ending a banquet.
- You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.

I quit!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Announcing a new Bear O Snark Segment: eHows that bite off more than they can chew.

eHow is pretty cool in general, offering step-by-step instructions across a range of topics. Want to learn how to find the right gym? Ask eHow. Want to know how to make a duct tape skirt? eHow it! Interested in how one might purify water in the case of an emergency? eHow do you do! But sometimes eHow gets a little big for its britches. On occasion, such oversteps will appear here, conveniently located on Bearosnark. Take a gander! Today's misadventure:

How to use the Constitution

I weep for the nation.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

A really bad idea:


Why: First, a lot of people - especially ones you don't know that well - will be grossed out if you up and hand them a slice of meat. Second, wallets are warm places. Those business cards are gonna start getting smelly and bacteria-y. Not only will your smell drive away some potential business contacts (or pretty ladies), but if you actually manage to hand someone the card, they'll probably get sick and die shortly thereafter. Of course, there might be one person who won't be driven away by your smell, won't die from bacteria exposure and won't be grossed out by you handing him or her a slice of meat. But the type of person that wouldn't be grossed out by that, who would find that sort of thing fun and/or respectable, is also exactly the type of person who would eat that business card, thus losing all of your contact information. Fail.

Then again... meat and lasers...

OK, I'm buying some of these. And then I'm gonna make lots of friends at the "Star Trek" opening !

Friday, May 1, 2009

The way nobody looked up
when she walked into a room made her sad; she
thought of herself as
Someone who wouldn't care about such things,
Such trivial things as being worthy of attention.
So when they didn't look up she explained to herself
that She wasn't bothered,
that She liked keeping to
So they kept their heads down until
Someone else walked in.