tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46195353636870197782024-03-05T06:15:35.965-05:00A Breath of Fresh BearAn outlet explicitly designed to distract myself from conflicting hopes, dreams, realities and ambitions.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-31572477375478674682010-02-05T14:21:00.003-05:002010-02-05T14:23:17.613-05:00Sale Alert!Buy a funny red jacket, get a panda absolutely free!*<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/04/article-0-0823FD71000005DC-706_634x369.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 634px; height: 369px;" src="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/04/article-0-0823FD71000005DC-706_634x369.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>*Shoes not included.<br /><br />The story <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1248544/Panda-cubs-bamboozle-keepers-SIXTEEN-join-zoo-nursery-China.html">here</a>.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-31101530190792801742009-12-22T15:15:00.003-05:002009-12-22T15:17:00.262-05:00You know those "this makes sure you're not a computer" things? (Part II)Today's collection of letters and numbers that you have to type in so that a website knows you're a human?<br /><br />2DRTDB<br /><br />Shakespeare!Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-24726953022921247922009-11-13T10:08:00.001-05:002009-11-13T10:10:20.104-05:00Ghost Toast Launch!Check out Shira's and Jake's web series, <a href="http://ghosttoast.net">Ghost Toast</a>! It's way awesome. Also, I'm in the first episode. Enough said.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-16306307704152649602009-11-13T01:52:00.003-05:002009-11-13T01:57:40.442-05:00Friends in common?Probably the best randomly generated depiction of my facebook friends to date.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8mlPUOBjczh-UI53wnmm5huYKP5DZP__sPYaDPCl6bCT_mAeReAjUaTItC5Lv0zZ0JDTI8wuFhVvAn5CLkm5E-eX6CkhPmNU3tq5-qybLQobLp5doVUW5VKl0zWSF6OOmNkiYXn73HF_5/s1600-h/Picture+2.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 132px; height: 92px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8mlPUOBjczh-UI53wnmm5huYKP5DZP__sPYaDPCl6bCT_mAeReAjUaTItC5Lv0zZ0JDTI8wuFhVvAn5CLkm5E-eX6CkhPmNU3tq5-qybLQobLp5doVUW5VKl0zWSF6OOmNkiYXn73HF_5/s400/Picture+2.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403478444315779618" border="0" /></a>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-77740006578885720212009-11-07T02:13:00.005-05:002009-11-07T02:37:53.682-05:00Movie Marketing 101Possibly to justify the monthly subscription fee and the many hours I've devoted to watching Law & Order: SVU, I like to think that I've learned a lot about the movie business through my Instant Netflix subscription. For example, I recently became aware of a surefire movie marketing strategy for poster design. It is this:<br /><br />Title: "The (noun reflecting a group of certain kind of individual)"<br />Graphic: The torso of one of those individuals, who is ripping away his or her clothing.<br />Tagline: Something related to business that sounds like it's trying to be a play on words but isn't actually a play on words at all.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvEhxUVkwlrAprXMx2T4WtqxxN5-j6S8llid2MzQj0BoinSph805mI_roTsV1L2ssZPGy5LhXWUQP4Vo0KSyodQB-qGksdFGMA2roSfD3at9qgv3x_Ze-EHVc5i-XQVOKvY52h4RgoApe/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 388px; height: 297px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvEhxUVkwlrAprXMx2T4WtqxxN5-j6S8llid2MzQj0BoinSph805mI_roTsV1L2ssZPGy5LhXWUQP4Vo0KSyodQB-qGksdFGMA2roSfD3at9qgv3x_Ze-EHVc5i-XQVOKvY52h4RgoApe/s400/Picture+1.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401258900137486802" border="0" /></a><br />I'm pretty sure this formula will come in handy when I design the poster for my future blockbuster hit, "The Superheroes," "The Strippers" or "The Victims of Cardiac Arrest Who Need To Have That Shock Thing Done On Their Chests."Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-12828996714573973212009-10-09T13:57:00.002-04:002009-10-09T14:00:37.798-04:00Now available on DVD with bonus features:Otters Gone Wild!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://21.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr92wpd0Ng1qzs75go1_500.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 335px;" src="http://21.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr92wpd0Ng1qzs75go1_500.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />For <a href="http://smokingpancakes.blogspot.com/">Shira</a>. Link via <a href="http://dailyotter.org/">The Daily Otter</a>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-13293335413561818212009-09-19T01:08:00.004-04:002009-09-19T01:13:04.599-04:00Dog Court Improv<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjplXkYknF7kBsG8_OG7l9OHz-n_aX8dWfsLO-CGx1fre_z0XR0Wc9DKnC60ErSH8gzqRSKu2v0xgF_IwmqE1_a5P-LQ_du6Yhii4M_2jlALN3CyVIE_b3KYSRBCGF4Gfe30larhMKoAoAx/s1600-h/9723_554773996708_40700234_32461637_3810673_n.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 295px; height: 307px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjplXkYknF7kBsG8_OG7l9OHz-n_aX8dWfsLO-CGx1fre_z0XR0Wc9DKnC60ErSH8gzqRSKu2v0xgF_IwmqE1_a5P-LQ_du6Yhii4M_2jlALN3CyVIE_b3KYSRBCGF4Gfe30larhMKoAoAx/s320/9723_554773996708_40700234_32461637_3810673_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383041177720505682" border="0" /></a><br />#&!@ caution.<br /></div>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-12300443371526650642009-09-16T22:29:00.005-04:002009-09-16T22:34:20.477-04:00So I'm taking this writing class...And our first assignment was to write 2 or 3 monologue jokes! Fun right? I think more kids would like school if assignments like that were more prevalent. Anyway, here are the three I came up with in about half an hour before class. They're not stellar, but at least you all can enjoy watching me learn. Or something.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">"The FCC said Tuesday that it will review the incident involving a fleeting glimpse of pop singer Janet Jackson's breast during the 2004 Superbowl. Janet Jackson's breast could not be reached for comment, which is not surprising since it has not been seen or heard from in over 5 years.</span>"<br /><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNormal"> "In Washington state today, a few cattle participating in a local parade veered off course, entering a convenience store. A pair of cowboys was forced to enter the store on horseback to drive out the cows, who emerged with 2 dozen taquitos and a Battle Berry Slurpee."</p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNormal">"Investigators reported today that a shipwreck off the Italian coast may hold radioactive waste sunk by the mafia. This came as a surprise to officials, who had not realized Glenn Beck was missing."<br /></p>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-80356166483644353122009-09-14T14:13:00.004-04:002009-09-14T14:20:05.900-04:00"Defying Gravity" Defies Longevity<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2009/09/defying-gravity.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 425px; height: 253px;" src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2009/09/defying-gravity.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>ABC has announced that Sunday night's episode of the space-based drama, <span style="font-style: italic;">Defying Gravity</span>, will be the show's last. In the absence of an official cancellation announcement by ABC, rumors are swirling that the show, which stars Ron Livingston, was not in fact canceled, but has been asked to come in on Saturday.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-80627815533444556572009-09-09T10:30:00.003-04:002009-09-09T10:34:11.813-04:00Aw, what's the matter, little brain? Are you gonna cry? Does wittle bwain want his mommy bwain?In honor of back-to-school, a brain teaser! What's the missing number in the sequence?<br /><br />3 , 3 , 5 , 4 , 4 , 3 , 5 , 5 , _ , 3Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-8349780318515459422009-08-12T01:46:00.002-04:002009-08-12T01:48:33.876-04:00I'm doing the damn thing.<div class="snap_preview"><p>(Originally posted at <a href="http://bearoserious.wordpress.com">The Bear's Necessities</a>)</p><p>I recently spent a good three months planning my future career as a clinical psychologist. I was pretty excited about going back to school and eventually entering a field in which I could marry my interest in figuring out how people ‘work’ with my desire to help people (or whatever). I imagined the nice house in Atlanta that I’d share with my husband. We’d have two kids, two cars, a dog and a huge flat-screen TV. Most nights, I’d come home around 7pm with a few bags filled with prepared meals from the Whole Foods buffet. After the kids were in bed, I’d relax for a bit in my delightfully over-sized shower (separate from the bathtub), put on my cotton designer pajamas, and curl up with a mango or passion fruit sorbet on my very plush, neutral-colored couch to watch whichever variety show host that would appropriately appeal to my age bracket and liberal sensibilities. At first, I’d chuckle along with the host’s witty antics as he/she jovially poked fun at pop culture trends and the inane goings-on of public figures. Then I’d spend the rest of the evening angrily communicating with my sorbet via violent spoon-digs that ‘I could do that.’</p> <p>You know that moment in a movie when the main character is teetering at the edge of an abyss? At this crisis point, pretty often a character that you thought was cute but dismissed as comic relief, or maybe at best a foil highlighting important facets of the protagonist’s personality, steps in and says something that (frequently unwittingly) communicates to the protagonist exactly what s/he needs to do in order to resolve the conflict and leave the audience with that cathartic resolution that they so desire.</p> <p>I went to Atlanta a couple weeks ago for a week-long vacation. It was a great trip in which I got to bake a peach cobbler with my grandmother, hang out with my friends and family, deal with going to a bar and then needing to drive home afterward, and resume my preferred 4am-1pm sleep cycle. At one friend’s birthday party, I was feeling pretty nauseous, something that had been happening once a day for the past week or so. I still valiantly powered through, nursing a glass of white wine as I caught up with my college roommate, Nina, who had returned to Atlanta recently. Nina listened thoughtfully and nodded as I explained my new life plan. She then asked me what the hell I was doing.</p> <p>I’m not going to be a psychologist. Instead, I’m doing the damn thing. Currently the damn thing game plan is no more specific than “don’t spend any money for ten months” and then make ‘the move’ out to LA when my lease is up in June. It’s likely that I’ll talk myself out of doing this six or seven times until then, but I’m really hoping I don’t in the end. I’m getting too old for Nina to keep making mystical guidance figure appearances in my life, and plane tickets to Atlanta are never as cheap as you’d expect tickets to a ‘hub’ to be. So please indulge me over the next few months as I fantasize about living near the beach, evading the oppressive and unnecessary BS that is ‘winter’, finding an affordable hybrid and adopting a dog that I will name Bear. Incidentally, I haven’t been nauseous since Nina verbally smacked me and shook me to my emotional core.</p> </div>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-31190846951549531582009-08-02T14:59:00.003-04:002009-08-02T17:35:20.427-04:00An Open Birthday Letter to Shira<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Shira,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Happy birthday! I bet right now you’re reflecting nostalgically upon years past and contemplating with cautious excitement what experiences and adventures are in store. That’s what birthday celebrations are for, after all. That and presents. Upon further reflection, I bet you’re mostly just thinking about the presents. Specifically the one you’re getting from me. I bet you’re thinking to yourself about all the great presents I’ve given you in years past and contemplating with cautious excitement what I could possibly have in the works for you this time around. Well, unfortunately I’m going to insist you curb your anticipation right now. I don’t have a present for you. I did have a present, and it was great. Like, not just one of those “Gee, thanks, Liz, how thoughtful of you,” type presents. It was a “GOLLY… GOLLY,” type present. What happened to this exclamation-à-les-1950s-worthy gift, you ask? Well, I’ll tell ya:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">So I told you I was going to Atlanta for a week, right? Lie! It was all a clever ruse to secure your birthday present. I can’t be terribly specific, but let’s just say I had to board lots of flights, bribe many a customs agent, and my passport is now heavier with ink than a bloated squid. Speaking of squid, I had to learn how to scuba dive. And mountain climb. And parachute from an airplane flying at 30,000 feet directly into the ocean in full scuba gear, thereby making it nearly impossible for the Navy to triangulate my position. Those parachutes can be pretty tricky to navigate in the water, incidentally. I also acquired skills in the arts of stowing away, hand-to-hand combat and carbon dating. But before this birthday note starts to read like a cover letter, I’ll get to the meat of the story.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I had to be pretty careful the whole time I was transporting your gift. Again I can’t be incredibly specific – there is, after all, the possibility that I’ll be able to find a second one and I don’t want to ruin the surprise if that’s the case! – but I can tell you that the gift was incredibly delicate. It was not only structurally unsound, but it also had the capacity to produce an impressive explosive reaction upon coming into contact with water, sugar, sodium or air. Luckily I was able to devise a storage container that allowed for safe transport. Due to the structural protections necessitated by the very delicate gift, the storage container bared an odd resemblance to Michael Jackson. I originally failed to notice this similarity. In fact, it escaped my notice entirely until I reached New York. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Well, as I removed the storage container from its overhead storage bin, the woman who had been sitting next to me during the flight (and who had spent the majority of in-air time knitting baby booties for babies she does not yet have with a husband she does not yet know but will probably meet via eHarmony.com) made note of the container’s eerie Jacksonesque appearance. A few aisles back, a professional eBay vendor of all things appearing to be, but not actually being Michael Jackson overheard her comment and started trying to purchase your present’s protective shell. Valiantly I refused, explaining that this Michael Jackson face contained my dear friend Shira’s birthday present, and as such was a vessel for her very happiness. Then he attacked me! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I fought pretty decently at first. I would throw the storage container into the air, deliver a swift jab to my adversary’s face, and then catch your gift in a Vin Diesel-would-be-jealous-type performance. I then attempted to use a Jedi mind trick on the guy, but he was more intelligent than his ponytail, Hawaiian shirt and neon green Crocs would have made you guess. It was at this point that the eBay adversary knocked me into my seat neighbor and I became tangled in her many many baby booties. Trapped and helpless, I could only watch as the villain grabbed the unintentional ode to MJ and sprinted off. I desperately fought against the oppressive string and baby footwear. Finally freeing myself using my handy pocketknife, I started to pursue the perpetrator in all haste. Unfortunately, airport security saw my handy pocketknife and tackled me to the ground. They were about to arrest me when a sudden blast rocked the terminal. Later I would learn that the evacuation that ensued was attributed in the media to some guy entering the main terminal with what appeared to be bomb parts. But the security team and I know what really happened. We know that the eBay fiend opened the storage container. We know your gift destroyed itself upon contact with the air, eviscerating its captor along with it, and maybe, just maybe, making eBay a better place. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Obviously airport security knew they wouldn’t be able to successfully hold me, what with all my amazing aforementioned skills, so after awhile of intense interrogation, they released me. So that’s why I was a little late to your party. And why I showed up without a gift. We cool?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Happy birthday!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Liz</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">p.s. Seriously though, can I treat you to a show/beers or something?</span>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-83225177223060070702009-07-14T13:56:00.002-04:002009-07-14T14:02:07.954-04:00My current "wish list":- The Flip<br />- Honda CR-Z Hybrid<br />- An iPhone (I hear they're thinking about a model with projectors!)<br />- The digitally remastered Beatles albums being released in September and/or "The Beatles: Rock Band"<br />- The Kindle<br /><br />Sometimes the lists I make reflect my socio-economic background all too clearly...Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-60197162061386671402009-06-20T13:24:00.003-04:002009-06-20T13:34:48.346-04:00Pizza Hut finally stops insisting what it sells has anything to do with pizza...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq-Y2dSF7SGe3yITVtY91IpFVvNXLobRYQk8NknReP-LInQ_AJ-D7Klxxmn2bpuuHxpZcKcfN_5TFx4Bd3I0vDmkRYiEU2XTnwZ2d-zQUxhNYhK8X6gqPBcrmbIxiS9dil_ekjxXWklImh/s1600-h/090619075145_the+hut.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq-Y2dSF7SGe3yITVtY91IpFVvNXLobRYQk8NknReP-LInQ_AJ-D7Klxxmn2bpuuHxpZcKcfN_5TFx4Bd3I0vDmkRYiEU2XTnwZ2d-zQUxhNYhK8X6gqPBcrmbIxiS9dil_ekjxXWklImh/s320/090619075145_the+hut.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5349464200892336258" border="0" /></a><br /><br />In a move to update its image for the mobile generation, Pizza Hut is rebranding and will now be known simply as <a href="http://www.wltx.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=75227&catid=35">"The Hut"</a>. Leaders at the company are convinced that this move will serve them well in the end, changing consumer expectations so there will be no disappointment when the food they are served is more reminiscent of a rickety old shack than of an actual pizza pie.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-17360301675524614352009-06-08T23:13:00.003-04:002009-06-08T23:21:05.798-04:00eHows that bite off more than they can chew, part IISo this is technically a wikiHow, but the point remains:<br /><br />5/8/09: <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Cheer-Up">How to Cheer Up</a><br /><br />Get the f*ck over it in just 8 easy steps! Also, from the "tips" section:<br /><br />"Learning <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Optimistic" title="Be Optimistic">How to Be Optimistic</a> is a good way to ensure cheeriness in the long run."<br /><br /><br /><br />In other news, the #1 'How To' over at eHow.com is "<a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_2209_clean-dogs-earsclean-dogs-earsclean-dogs-earsclean-dogs-ears.html">How to Clean a Dog's Ears</a>"Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-39431424578006516742009-06-08T10:55:00.002-04:002009-06-08T10:58:35.058-04:00It's clearly a renter's marketCheck out <a href="http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/abo/1207309586.html">this apartment</a> in Chelsea for only $1600 a month! Now you can conveniently<a href="http://i421.photobucket.com/albums/pp292/GabeAC/213%20apt%2012%20new/DSCN2864-1.jpg"> scrub and scramble</a> with ease!<br /><br />I miss apartment hunting.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-4241164371082358522009-05-28T12:29:00.003-04:002009-05-28T12:37:42.351-04:00You know those "this makes sure you're not a computer" things?Where you have to get really close the computer screen to decipher what letters/numbers are in a graphic so you can type them in so you can comment on your friend's blog?<br /><br />Sometimes, I wish those words were real words.<br /><br />Take "bortne." I think bortne would mean something like, "dissatisfied acquiescence." For example, "Tanya reacted to her boyfriend, Malloy's, desire to see 'Terminator' with a certain degree of bortne."Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-67883221663593490602009-05-18T16:47:00.005-04:002009-05-18T18:09:51.873-04:00Fawns are cuddly slutbagsPlaying hard to get... unconvincingly!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://wisteriagoldens.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/deer-beagle-001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 338px; height: 256px;" src="http://wisteriagoldens.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/deer-beagle-001.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Clearly about to make out...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.animalintelligence.org/images/deerbunny1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 273px; height: 190px;" src="http://www.animalintelligence.org/images/deerbunny1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Caught in the act!!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/4307_723559174487_3601690_42198156_3165516_n-copy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 426px;" src="http://cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/4307_723559174487_3601690_42198156_3165516_n-copy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Threesome.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirF1i37D2H2QcHqKkBvSotv10Ra1GG3ENoXr8Z43il31HP9_i-Hq-2AcjpiDJlMmx6H13EcuzNngxrh_tB5Jr5hePr0IekztmntMbzMXDuMsshSqBsPG_Eu3QXdJ2CkUTYVmKpRCOtg8p4/s1600-h/30494897rDSWEGsgUO_ph.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 144px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirF1i37D2H2QcHqKkBvSotv10Ra1GG3ENoXr8Z43il31HP9_i-Hq-2AcjpiDJlMmx6H13EcuzNngxrh_tB5Jr5hePr0IekztmntMbzMXDuMsshSqBsPG_Eu3QXdJ2CkUTYVmKpRCOtg8p4/s200/30494897rDSWEGsgUO_ph.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337289289642700738" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image24.webshots.com/24/9/48/97/30494897rDSWEGsgUO_ph.jpg"><br /></a>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-22080773478275515012009-05-13T11:50:00.003-04:002009-05-13T11:52:14.309-04:00So. Many. Wonderful. Things.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://awkwardfamilyphotos.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/christmas-19951.jpg?w=647&h=876"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 647px; height: 876px;" src="http://awkwardfamilyphotos.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/christmas-19951.jpg?w=647&h=876" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />About. This. Family. Portrait.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-57879521811500615352009-05-13T10:51:00.004-04:002009-05-13T11:52:59.558-04:00Fortune cookie fortunes I kept whilst a paralegalThe following are fortune cookie fortunes I refused to throw away whilst a paralegal:<br /><br />- Idleness is the holiday of fools.<br />- You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.<br />- Good beginning is half done.<br />- You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.<br />- Serious trouble will bypass you.<br />- Treasure your good memories and you need not worry about ending a banquet.<br />- You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.<br /><br />I quit!Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-67246751041950857602009-05-12T13:07:00.002-04:002009-05-12T13:18:34.741-04:00Announcing a new Bear O Snark Segment: eHows that bite off more than they can chew.<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">eHow</span> is pretty cool in general, offering step-by-step instructions across a range of topics. Want to learn how to find the right gym? Ask <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">eHow</span>. Want to know how to make a duct tape skirt? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">eHow</span> it! Interested in how one might purify water in the case of an emergency? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">eHow</span> do you do! But sometimes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">eHow</span> gets a little big for its britches. On <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">occasion</span>, such oversteps will appear here, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">conveniently</span> located on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Bearosnark</span>. Take a gander! Today's misadventure:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_2049957_use-constitution.html">How to use the Constitution</a><br /><br />I weep for the nation.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-7516765958911588642009-05-07T17:44:00.003-04:002009-05-07T17:54:47.081-04:00A really bad idea:<a href="http://www.meatcards.com/">This.</a><br /><br />Why: First, a lot of people - especially ones you don't know that well - will be grossed out if you up and hand them a slice of meat. Second, wallets are warm places. Those business cards are gonna start getting smelly and bacteria-y. Not only will your smell drive away some potential business contacts (or pretty ladies), but if you actually manage to hand someone the card, they'll probably get sick and die shortly thereafter. Of course, there might be one person who won't be driven away by your smell, won't die from bacteria exposure and won't be grossed out by you handing him or her a slice of meat. But the type of person that wouldn't be grossed out by that, who would find that sort of thing fun and/or respectable, is also exactly the type of person who would eat that business card, thus losing all of your contact information. Fail.<br /><br />Then again... meat and lasers...<br /><br />OK, I'm buying some of these. And then I'm gonna make lots of friends at the "Star Trek" opening !Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-7035146688330620832009-05-01T03:30:00.002-04:002009-05-01T03:33:36.371-04:00The way nobody looked up<br />when she walked into a room made her sad; she<br />thought of herself as<br />Someone who wouldn't care about such things,<br />Such trivial things as being worthy of attention.<br />So when they didn't look up she explained to herself<br />that She wasn't bothered,<br />that She liked keeping to<br />Herself.<br />So they kept their heads down until<br />Someone else walked in.Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-7981635291337769612009-04-27T23:32:00.004-04:002009-04-27T23:39:21.613-04:00Over at Cute Overload(a blog which, not surprisingly, I frequent), this picture was featured with the caption, "if you turn this pic 90 degrees it's a much happier story":<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFcwkvQtgOmMUUtDvD0sqtlPmpGVBPY_eyI5GsrWgeOgZDdBULP_vnfL-vewTEu6OxTZHJ9-e28I83VCWNKmPTNduoKX-wRiDce1JY_gMU30FF5ayNyRz62gApodUZxRcfsvUFPTCvGiP/s1600-h/_mg_0818.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 148px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFcwkvQtgOmMUUtDvD0sqtlPmpGVBPY_eyI5GsrWgeOgZDdBULP_vnfL-vewTEu6OxTZHJ9-e28I83VCWNKmPTNduoKX-wRiDce1JY_gMU30FF5ayNyRz62gApodUZxRcfsvUFPTCvGiP/s200/_mg_0818.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329580565584946434" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Assholes:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTMZ1MryvkbDGYy-W1PXQcxzBO3EDDhBZw5uArnpRDGm1GiKTq2gVmVnM3cYHrkgXq57mRRTkStDWZWCS933sB86z8RnRLGP0Olp3jKqdjHEzdq8FXkXWfBlsqJv2UDMYqOdZDmMwQ4Z7w/s1600-h/_mg_0818.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTMZ1MryvkbDGYy-W1PXQcxzBO3EDDhBZw5uArnpRDGm1GiKTq2gVmVnM3cYHrkgXq57mRRTkStDWZWCS933sB86z8RnRLGP0Olp3jKqdjHEzdq8FXkXWfBlsqJv2UDMYqOdZDmMwQ4Z7w/s400/_mg_0818.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329581626317870898" border="0" /></a>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619535363687019778.post-75381233000223409232009-04-10T16:17:00.001-04:002009-04-10T16:17:52.186-04:00Excellent.<object width="512" height="328" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" id="ordie_player_1e01f75c6f"><param name="movie" value="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf"><param name="flashvars" value="key=1e01f75c6f"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed width="512" height="328" flashvars="key=1e01f75c6f" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" quality="high" src="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" name="ordie_player_1e01f75c6f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><div style="text-align:left;font-size:x-small;margin-top:0;width:512px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1e01f75c6f/really-confusing-tv-intro" title="from FOD Team and Eric Appel">Really Confusing TV Intro</a> - watch more <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/" title="on Funny or Die">funny videos</a></div>Lizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12753641692568754271noreply@blogger.com