- The Flip
- Honda CR-Z Hybrid
- An iPhone (I hear they're thinking about a model with projectors!)
- The digitally remastered Beatles albums being released in September and/or "The Beatles: Rock Band"
- The Kindle
Sometimes the lists I make reflect my socio-economic background all too clearly...
Showing posts with label sense of purposelessness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sense of purposelessness. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Fortune cookie fortunes I kept whilst a paralegal
The following are fortune cookie fortunes I refused to throw away whilst a paralegal:
- Idleness is the holiday of fools.
- You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
- Good beginning is half done.
- You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
- Serious trouble will bypass you.
- Treasure your good memories and you need not worry about ending a banquet.
- You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.
I quit!
- Idleness is the holiday of fools.
- You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
- Good beginning is half done.
- You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
- Serious trouble will bypass you.
- Treasure your good memories and you need not worry about ending a banquet.
- You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.
I quit!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A really bad idea:
This.
Why: First, a lot of people - especially ones you don't know that well - will be grossed out if you up and hand them a slice of meat. Second, wallets are warm places. Those business cards are gonna start getting smelly and bacteria-y. Not only will your smell drive away some potential business contacts (or pretty ladies), but if you actually manage to hand someone the card, they'll probably get sick and die shortly thereafter. Of course, there might be one person who won't be driven away by your smell, won't die from bacteria exposure and won't be grossed out by you handing him or her a slice of meat. But the type of person that wouldn't be grossed out by that, who would find that sort of thing fun and/or respectable, is also exactly the type of person who would eat that business card, thus losing all of your contact information. Fail.
Then again... meat and lasers...
OK, I'm buying some of these. And then I'm gonna make lots of friends at the "Star Trek" opening !
Why: First, a lot of people - especially ones you don't know that well - will be grossed out if you up and hand them a slice of meat. Second, wallets are warm places. Those business cards are gonna start getting smelly and bacteria-y. Not only will your smell drive away some potential business contacts (or pretty ladies), but if you actually manage to hand someone the card, they'll probably get sick and die shortly thereafter. Of course, there might be one person who won't be driven away by your smell, won't die from bacteria exposure and won't be grossed out by you handing him or her a slice of meat. But the type of person that wouldn't be grossed out by that, who would find that sort of thing fun and/or respectable, is also exactly the type of person who would eat that business card, thus losing all of your contact information. Fail.
Then again... meat and lasers...
OK, I'm buying some of these. And then I'm gonna make lots of friends at the "Star Trek" opening !
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Shallow Musings
You should take pains to not over-dissect, lest you may destroy that which you sought to understand. Like a frog's innards.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Over 13 years ago...
... a footnote was included in a rather thick novel that, over 13 years later at 3am on a Saturday night, would induce in a 22-year-old professional woman an irrepressible fit of laughter that would not be abated, as it should have been, by concerns of waking those within a close proximity to her bedroom. Rather, the fit could only gradually dim and disintegrate as it was overcome by sheer awe at having been given the privilege of sharing a laugh with the author over 13 years ago, others who enjoyed the footnote before her and those who would enjoy the footnote in years to come.
Books are neat.
Books are neat.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Quarter Life Crisis
As many of my peers are faced with indecision and uncertainty following their graduation from college and entrance into the "real world," quite a few of them find themselves experiencing a "quarter life crisis." This depresses me no end, in part because it means my friends are unhappy and in part because it implies they will all die somewhere around the age of 88-92.
Personally, I anticipate living until the ripe old age of 117 (at which point I plan to OD on heroine), so my quarter life crisis should come around the age of 29.25. As a result, I cannot at all identify with the life-in-transit crisis that my dudes are experiencing. I can, however, reflect on the absurd depreciation of the value of a quarter in our modern economy and the profound sense of loss I feel as a result.
Now, unlike my mother, I cannot recall a time when a quarter could buy you a Coke (and a smile!) and a couple pieces of candy at the corner store. However, I can recall a period in which a quarter could get you a massive handful of candy (although I suppose my hands were smaller), most of which would end up on the ground (damn you, tiny hands!). A quarter was also enough to get a really cool toy, like a bouncy ball infused with glitter, a rubber finger puppet, a temporary tattoo or maybe - just possibly - one of those jelly-like sticky elastic things that you could fling onto the car window on the way home from the grocery store, or maybe at your little brother's face.
Well, America, I may not be having a quarter life crisis myself, but I am worried about the state of a quarter dollar for us all. It is with this in mind that I embark on my newest (and most exciting!) project: $0.25 for 25 days! That's right, you guessed it... we're gonna test how far a quarter can go in the world of today (and in the City of New York, no less). After the purchasing period has ended, the amassed tchotchkes will be analyzed, and we will know better the value of a quarter in the world in which we live relative to, say, a purchase at Starbuck's and, perhaps more importantly, how much better off we were as kids than the runts being raised today.
Personally, I anticipate living until the ripe old age of 117 (at which point I plan to OD on heroine), so my quarter life crisis should come around the age of 29.25. As a result, I cannot at all identify with the life-in-transit crisis that my dudes are experiencing. I can, however, reflect on the absurd depreciation of the value of a quarter in our modern economy and the profound sense of loss I feel as a result.
Now, unlike my mother, I cannot recall a time when a quarter could buy you a Coke (and a smile!) and a couple pieces of candy at the corner store. However, I can recall a period in which a quarter could get you a massive handful of candy (although I suppose my hands were smaller), most of which would end up on the ground (damn you, tiny hands!). A quarter was also enough to get a really cool toy, like a bouncy ball infused with glitter, a rubber finger puppet, a temporary tattoo or maybe - just possibly - one of those jelly-like sticky elastic things that you could fling onto the car window on the way home from the grocery store, or maybe at your little brother's face.
Well, America, I may not be having a quarter life crisis myself, but I am worried about the state of a quarter dollar for us all. It is with this in mind that I embark on my newest (and most exciting!) project: $0.25 for 25 days! That's right, you guessed it... we're gonna test how far a quarter can go in the world of today (and in the City of New York, no less). After the purchasing period has ended, the amassed tchotchkes will be analyzed, and we will know better the value of a quarter in the world in which we live relative to, say, a purchase at Starbuck's and, perhaps more importantly, how much better off we were as kids than the runts being raised today.
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