Sale Alert!

Buy a funny red jacket, get a panda absolutely free!**Shoes not included.

The story here.

Fawns are cuddly slutbags

Playing hard to get... unconvincingly!















Clearly about to make out...












Caught in the act!!
























Threesome.

So. Many. Wonderful. Things.

About. This. Family. Portrait.

Facebook says I may know a guy named Ironheart

For every fifty people Facebook suggests "you may know" and actually do know but have been actively trying to avoid (and who are clearly actively trying to avoid you since they're probably getting a message saying they might know you too... the door swings both ways, kids), there is one person who you do not know at all and really really really wish you did. For me, that person is a dude who goes by the name Ironheart. I refuse to click on the picture that links to his profile because I'm sure I'll be disappointed (maybe he works in Finance; perhaps he's friends with those kids I hung out with orientation week who refused to expand their social circle as college progressed - save to include Ironheart - and who would quickly look away whenever I passed them on campus for fear that we might make eye contact and they would have to deal with the sad truth that, at least for a week, they had thought I - a person who wanted to form relationships with people for reasons other than our shared experience of having our parents pay for us to attend the same scholastic institution - was cool; possibly, his name is not actually Ironheart). Nope. In exchange for repeated suggestions of people I may know that remind me of high school friendships gone sour, potentially lovely relationships gone awkward and other moments of missed opportunity, I'll keep an image of me in another world, chilling with my pal Ironheart. We'll be watching "Howard the Duck."

World's nicest dog meets world's rottenest kid

Shallow Musings

You should take pains to not over-dissect, lest you may destroy that which you sought to understand. Like a frog's innards.

Who's a good Slumdog Millionaire? Yesh you are, oh yesh you are!

Who's da Bestest Picture of da year? Isyou, isyou, isyou, isyou, isyou! Would you like anothah tweat? You would?! Of course you would, of course you would! Who's da best at cinematogwaphy, diwecting and editing? Is it... Slumdog? Yesh it's Slumdog! And who has da bestest owiginal score and bestest owiginal song? ... It's Slumdog!! What a good picture, good film! And who's got da bestest Sound in da whole wide entertainment industwy? Isyou, isyou, isyou! Oh, what's dat, Slumdog? Am I forgetting somesing? Oh, how siwwy of me, who's da bestest at wighting in da categowy of scweenplay based on matewial pweviously pwoduced or pubwished? Whadda good Slumdog!

Times Are Tough

It's true. But in trying episodes such as these, it is absolutely imperative that we all take a moment to remember that this happened and was amazing.

Valentine's Day: Some Advice

Don't be the asshole who sticks his tongue out before the kiss starts.

Also, get her a puppy or she'll probably dump you.